Face To Face
by paintedallup
Summary: Supernatural, Sam and Jo.
1. Chapter 1

Face to face we stood. I was shocked, speechless, while he was guilty and standing in my doorway or should I say swaying in my doorway.

He was about to fall over, get up and then fall over again.

He reeked of eggnog, shaving cream and booze and he was a little too close for comfort.

"Marry Christmas_, Jo."_

Sam Winchester, not Dean, _never_ Dean, fell into my arms.

He wasn't as heavy as Dean, but it still took all of my strength to pull him to the empty bed _(hmm…maybe I should leave him in the street?)._

'Marry Christmas, Joanna.'

I opened gifts while he slept it off _(it being the something I had never seen him do in my whole time with him),_ clean clothes from Ellen, a trusty knife from Bobby, and a Winchester all wrapped in vomit.

He woke screaming names, _Jessica, Dean, Dad and Mom._

"Good you're up, now you can leave. Take your eggnog with you."

If it was Dean, drunk and at my front door I would bring him in, steal the only kisses I'll ever have, and watch him leave again, but Sam wasn't Dean.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I came here, and heck I don't remember most of what I did."

Then he did it, puppy dog eyes all full of guilt and sadness _(how much of sucker am I?). _

"Sam, sit your butt down your staying."

"Umm…ok, I think I'll do that."


	2. Hamburgers and Gore Don't Mix

Everything was spinning, nothing felt real, nothing right.

Every time I looked at him I saw fire and brimstone, death and loss, something that would never be and never was.

We are staying at Bobby's, and it looks like we might never leave.

The nightmares of burning bodies, of Ash, they never seemed to go away, but lately I only have them once a week.

Things about me changed no more smiles, no more words, and no more feeling.

All I did was fight, fight my ass off.

Stubbornness is a thing of the past, no more petty fights with Dean; in fact I was avoiding Dean at all costs.

It was movie night, yep just what I said, movie night.

If the cases were few, we tried to do something normal, if you call normal watching _Saw_ one, two, and three, and Dean digging into a number of hamburgers thought out it.

"Jo? Where did you get this?"

One moment he was buried in a musty book, and then his fingers were outlining the scar that ran all the way down my arm.

I was a deer in head lights, he hadn't spoken two words to me the whole time I was here, heck he barely spoke to me before that.

"M-my first hunt, around the time the roadhouse was burned down."

I grabbed his hand, both of our warm hands connecting, only for a few seconds before we pulled away.

"W-what kind of thing did you kiss-kill."

My mind wondered, the sound of screaming, of gun shots.

The pain had been blinding, like I was being ripped apart slowly one part of me at a time.

But I had pushed through it, finally able to throw the last punch, and kill the thing that had been haunting me since I was a child, the thing that killed my dad.

"The thing that killed my dad, they told me what it looked like. I tracked it, and killed it."

He was a little taken aback, the idea of me fighting something that big seemed impossible.

To my displeasure Dean had joined in on the big sharing fest, and he was the last person I wanted to talk to.

"You didn't say."

"Why would I? It wouldn't change the way you see me, a silly little school girl."

It felt good, like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, like I had hadn't been alive these long months, until now.

It was a nice feeling, even if it wasn't all out, I still had a lot of stuff to get off of my chest, and most of it had Dean as the main thing.

"Jo-"

"Look, someone's cutting off their own foot, again."


	3. Shut Up and Kiss Me

"I won't say that I miss him more then you, I know that would be a lie but I do miss him, Sam. I miss him more then I should."

Without asking those big paws that he calls hands, I could get lost in him if I dared to try, he pulls me in as if he's been doing so longer then tonight.

We're closer then we ever were before, and sharing more then one or two words because our thoughts were filled to the brim with Dean and only _Dean_ (maybe that was only me), as we lay side by side on the only car known to man that would have followed Dean to hell and back if it could.

(as the moonlight lit us up along with the stars we were busy pretending to watch)

"Thank you, don't ask why I'm thanking you just shut up and say '_you're welcome_'. I needed this, thank you."

Before I could let another thank you out, thanking him for his warm hands and how they took the dead off of my mind (only for a second before he comes back with a _vengeance_), when his lips found mine and took away the function of my brain.

This moment, his lips matching mine and the whole world melting away was what I wanted with Dean right from the start (when fist met face) but fate would have it that I found it with the brother I barely looked at over the year that was filled with heaps of disappointment.

Dean Winchester was the main _cause_ of it all and now Sam Winchester is the _cure_.

"Jo, I'm sorry it just happened, you still love Dean I shouldn't-."

For the first time in the months, one shy of the time when this would come back to haunt us (when the dead didn't stay dead), Dean wasn't all I was thinking of instead Sam was.

(along with those lips of his)

"Oh, just _shut up_ and kiss me again."


End file.
